Herbal Profile ~ Flower Power ~ Calendula

 Hello my plant loving and mighty magical buddies,

I thought I would start the HERBAL new year off with a flower this time, even though us herbalists use it as a very revered herb.

I have grown these in my garden for years and use the flowers quite regularly in oils, balms and mixed into herbal teas and incenses - they are superb little flowers for skin irritations (hence I use them in salves and balms) plus the bees just love them.  They always remind me of summer with their bright colours.  So let's do a mini-deep-dive into the majestic

            CALENDULA                       

Orange Calendula from my garden 2025

 

BOTANIC NAME ~ Calendula Officinalis.
AKA ~ Common Marigold, Pot Marigold, Gold bloom, Holligold, Mary bud, Marygold, summer's bride, spousa solis, bride of the sun.

GENDER ~ Male (Hot)

ELEMENT ~ Fire
DEITY ~ Apollo, Brigid, Freya, Ra, Virgin Mary.

PLANET ~ Sun

CRYSTAL ~ Citrine.

FOLKLORE ~ Ancient Egyptians used Calendula to rejuvenate their skin from the harsh Egyptian sun.  In India, garlands have Calendula mixed in them for weddings and religious rituals and ceremonies.

NOTED ~ Calendula is noted for it's soothing properties, especially if used in salves or balms.  Bathing in a Calendula infusion is thought to give one a healthy, sunny glow that would draw attention and respect from one's community.

USES ~ Add fresh flowers to salad greens to promote good health and strengthen the immune system.  Calendula is anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial and is good for pain relief... BUT BE WARNED... over consumption will cause issues with your tummy...
Can be used in herbal tea blends.

ALLERGIES ~ If you are allergic to ragweed, daisies, chrysanthemums, marigolds or any plants related to the Asteraceae or Compositae species ~ best avoid this one as well....

Another from my garden..

  IN THE GARDEN ~ Plant Calendula or Marigold (which has the same properties) in between your vegetables to protect them from unwanted pests.  They are a beautiful start to any summer garden as they are as bright as the sun and come in many different shades of orange, yellow, apricot and cream - some even have pink tinges... However, they do self seed prolifically so it is best to trim the flower heads once they are spent - this promotes more flowers and stops the seeds from going everywhere (unless that is what you want).

 

My little book of Herbal Notes....

WITCHCRAFT USES ~

Place a flower beneath your head at night (maybe in the pillowcase) to induce prophetic / clairvoyant dreams.

Can be added to love sachets.

Place a pot of Calendula outside your front door to repel enemies from entering your home

Used to influence legal matters - brighten your lapel with one to attract good outcomes.

Can be used (dried) in incense blends for protection from evil.

HARVESTING ~ Calendula or Marigold should be harvested at noon when the sun is high in the sky and the morning dew has had time to evaporate.

I like to dry mine naturally over a few weeks to make sure there is no moisture left - then I store them in a glass jar until I get to use them.                       

SO there you have it, my mini-deep-dive into the beautifully sunny Calendula.

Do you like this flower?

Do you use it, or just have the flowers placed in a vase within your home to bring the sunshine in?

Let me know in the comments....

Until next time, have a lovely week ahead.  Catch you with another mini-deep-dive next week...I'm thinking ROSES....🌹

Blessing to you all,
Annette )O( xxx

Hello and Happy New Year 2026

Hello my lovely Green Guru's, Magical Folk and Mystical Creatures,

I hope you had a wonderful end to the 2025 year, and that your start of 2026 has been so far - Bloody FABULOUS.

It's been a hot minute since I put finger to keyboard and had a catch up chat (in writing) with you all so I thought it was about time I did, especially seeing this is my first post of 2026.

Not to be a total downer - but...... (WARNING: My miseries are following)

Our end of 2025 was a bit of a fizzle as none of us were feeling well or in the mood for Christmas/New Year celebrations - even my Litha celebrations were rather lame - I did manage to make a twisted loaf in celebration, which we all enjoyed - but that was about it....

I even missed the Full Moon on 3rd January - so nothing was done for that either...

I have not been well at all, always sad and exhausted (go to bed tired, not having a good night's sleep, waking up more exhausted than you went to bed).

My stomach has felt very bloated and inflamed and my IBS has flared up which makes you feel like your body is toxic.  You just hurt all the time.

I must admit I have eaten WAY TOO MUCH chocolate (Maybe I should join Chocoholics Anonymous.......    Hello - My name is Annette and I am a Chocoholic...   it's been 4 hours since my last chocolate...   hahaha), which no doubt has caused most of my stomach issues. So hence my weight has gone up to a whopping 73.2 kilos.... which for my height, is bad for my back.... and my self image is at an all time low as nothing looks good on me and everything feels wrong.

I had a week off work for my birthday and all I did was rest - and I still felt exhausted when I went back to work.  I wondered if this is what 65 years old looks like - a permanently exhausted pigeon.

2025 was a bit of a hard year for me - physically, emotionally, spiritually, work wise and health wise as well.  It was kind of a bad year for all the family really ~ Paul got very sick in August with his Heart, and he has taken precedence over everything else, as he is the most important person in my life and I don't want to lose him.  Caetlyn who had laser eye surgery a few years ago is getting cataracts in both eyes again and will need surgery to remove them, she also suffered with sinus issues for the last 6 months and finally went to the doctor to get something for it.  Poor Mavis hasn't been for an actual walk since we all got unwell, she is very difficult to walk at the best of times as she wants to attack everything and is like a bull at a gate, pulling on the lead - we haven't been able to break her of those habits yet.  We try to play with her to keep her happy.

My garden is a mess.  All the things I tried to grow have either been eaten by birds or rats, or have died in the heat because I have not had the energy to do anything about it.  My work life is very stressful as we negotiate systems that do not work well together with the demands of the people both in and outside of the organisation.  I have not had any time (or energy) to do any witchcraft or work on my spiritual side either, and I have not had the time (or inclination)  to exercise. And whilst my house doesn't smell, housework has taken a backseat - everywhere could use a good dust, but that will come in time...

The summer heat is making me miserable too as it is too hot for me to go outside and garden, I can do it for around 10 minutes and then I start to feel nauseous and giddy.... I can't wait for Autumn.

I feel like a hollowed out husk, out of energy, out of the will to do anything about it, ready to be blown away by the next windy day.

SO after all that whinging I hear you say "Well, what are you going to do about it?"..

I dunno - maybe moan, whinge and complain more??? (LOL).

For the last month I have been off of all my socials as well - no Blogspot, no Instagram and no YouTube, and I must say - I have thoroughly enjoyed it... I am thinking of getting rid of Instagram as I went on there yesterday to see if I had missed anything and found myself feeling very depressed after 15 minutes....

I have tried to put together a video for my YouTube channel - but I can't seem to get enthused about it - I know there is another channel on there that wants to collaborate with me this year, but I don't know if I have the "right stuff" to see that through.  My channel hasn't got many followers - after 2 years I only have 74 followers, hardly any views on my videos and I don't get very many comments at all - I have to wonder if all that hard work is really worth it, do I really have anything worth saying - or more importantly, are people even interested in what I have to say - do I need to come up with a new angle? 

I don't know - I guess I am questioning everything at the moment...

I do know one thing that is going to make me immensely happy this year - RETIREMENT...

YES - I will be retiring from work on 30th June 2026... I have worked since 1976, and I think 50 years is long enough to dedicate to working and paying taxes in this life, I want to see if I can enjoy the time I have left on this beautiful earth before it's my time to pop off...

I am SO looking forward to that I can tell you (retiring - not popping off).

Hmmm well - Looking back on this travesty of a blog I must try to do something to get myself in a better place - any suggestions?

I don't know if any of you lovely readers have been in this situation before - or are going through the same or a similar thing right now... let me know in the comments below.

I know I DO want to feel better, I know I HAVE to sort out my priorities especially for where my health is concerned - it's just a daunting task when you are too tired to get enthused! Anxiety hits a new high when you feel overburdened and overwhelmed with the things life throws at you.

Sorry about all this - I basically had to get this off my chest so I can start to heal, I think acknowledging your faults and/or issues is the first step to going in a positive direction - then the only way is UP.

Anyhoo - thank you for sticking with me and listening to me whinge... I promise this will be the last time for a long while and normal blogging will return next week with herbal and flower profiles (which I have been working on).

I DO hope you are all doing well, that you are happy, healthy and kicking life in the balls.

Until next time,

Many blessings to you all....

Annette )O( xxx

Gloomy's Garden & Witchery ~ End of year 2025 ~ Chat 'n' Stuff

Hello again,

Just thought I would post my last video of the year (2025) on my YouTube channel, of your viewing pleasure...

I hope you enjoy it 😊 

I will be taking a break from all socials over the next 3-4 weeks, so I hope you have a wonderful Christmas if you celebrate it, a Magnificent Midsummer celebration for those of you who celebrate that, and a very Happy & Safe New Year too.

See you in 2026 my loves.

Blessings to you all

Annette )O( xxx

Health Vlog # 1 Let's get fit!!!

Yes it is that time of the year again where I try to get fitter for the oncoming winter months - working on that Summer BOD hahaha....

Come along with me on my fitness journey, working out this winter in our home gym and trying to shift this post-menopausal tum-tum....

I will be doing more in-depth videos regarding my health as we go - maybe some of you ladies can relate to some of the issues I am dealing with.

But for now - here is a glimpse of our METAL TEMPLE!!!

Good Health and Blessing to you all.

Cheers,

Annette )O( xxx

Witch Vlog # 7 - Samhain (Southern Hemisphere)

Hello my Magickal Unicorns,

It is coming up to Samhain this week (April 30th - May 1st), so I decided to do an Altar cleaning and repurposing it for the Samhain "End of Summer" season.

I do not talk in this one as I have a toothache/sore gum infection at the moment - which is giving me the heebie-jeebies I can tell you.  I am doing everything I can to get rid of it, but it will take time because I don't use "normal" pharmaceutical medicines, I use herbal remedies - which takes a bit longer but is more acceptable for my body.

Anyway - enough of me griping about my gob!!

I hope you enjoy the video 😁

As always,

Blessings to you all

)O( xxx

Gloomy's Garden - Vlog # 14 - Easter

Hello my lovelies,

HAPPY EASTER if you are celebrating..

I have another Garden Vlog Catch-up thingy video on my YouTube channel...

I hope you will enjoy it!!

Catch you next week,

Annette )O( xxx

Witch Vlog #4 The Un-Boxing of The Healthy Witch Oracle Deck.

Hi My Lovelies,

Here is my latest video - it's an oracle deck unboxing.

I hope you like it. Take care and many blessings!!
Annette

New Year - New Moon - New Beginning - First blog of 2025!!!

 Greetings and Salutations All & A Happy New Year!!

I bet a few of you have hangovers today hahaha - a few parties and few too many drinks later!

Did you make any New Year's resolutions?

We spent our New Year's Eve at home, nothing special really - I managed to clean out my Greenhouse of all plants and give it a good sweep through.  We then sat under the gazebo and Paul wrote a couple of new guitar tracks, so we listened to him and sang along whilst I was repotting a fern and ripping up cardboard/paper for composting.  Caetlyn was doing her knitting (swearing a lot because she miss counted or dropped a stitch... hahaha) and Mavis the dog was just following anyone around to see if she could help or sleeping under the table!

Later in the day we just had a normal meal, watched a bit of telly and then played scrabble until it was time to wish each other a HAPPY NEW YEAR.  We did consume a lot of sweets and biscuits/cookies though - which we con't normally do as we have reduced our sugar and salt intake over 2024 quite substantially, so when we have a burst of sugar like this, it does disrupt our bodily patterns somewhat!

As it was also the New Moon, a time to start something new, a fresh beginning as it is the start of the new moon cycle.  I did light my huge candle and some incense to welcome in the new year - however, I don't really get excited about it because our (witchy) new year isn't until Samhain on 1st May.

This year in the Chinese Horoscope it is the year of the Wood Snake (which means it's Paul's year this year). That doesn't come into effect until 29th January 2025.

Thinking of 2025 - I do hope that this year will be a better year than the previous 3 years, which have been a bit rough - and even though I do not make resolutions (as I am always disappointed in myself when they all fall apart), there are a few things (goals perhaps?) I would like to do:

1. Keep trying to get fitter and healthier - as I am getting older I need to make sure that I maintain my flexibility and fitness levels so that I don't end up on the "Medication Merry-go-Round".  I believe that Mother Nature has provided us with all the help we need in the forms of herbs and food for medicine.  I have created a spreadsheet for the next 6 months with every detail I need to form an opinion on patterns (good or bad) so that I can tweak my fitness progress:

Front Page of my Fitness Plan

I have included things like exercise, rest, daily health assessments, supplements taken, fortnightly weight and monthly body measurements.  With this information I should be able to see what progress I am making, and if I am not making progress, I should be able to see where I am failing with all the collected information.  I also have a page for NOTES after each month and on there - well it's like a journal - I put my feelings on certain days so I can see if there are any cycles or patterns there.

It should be all very interesting!!

2.  I would like to progress my YouTube channel by varying the content on there, hoping I will get more followers (but if I don't, ah well C'est Lavie), I will still have fun documenting my journey in life...

My YouTube Banner
Annette McLean's YouTube

So if you want to see more videos on Gloomy's Garden, or on my witchcraft practice, herbal remedies, book reviews, Q&A's and Tea & Chat videos, hop along on the bad foot to my channel and press subscribe, and ring the bell so you are notified of when I upload.  It would be greatly appreciated!!

3.  I would like to learn how to make my own soap - from scratch - right now I have done the melt and pour soap, and I am about to embark on the reusing the old soap bits that usually get thrown away - to make soap bars... but I would really love to learn how to make pure soap from scratch, using the oils I have infused with herbs and flowers from my garden.  I am a bit wary about the Lye though - I have heard that can be quite a thing to get used to!!

Melt & Pour Lavender Soap

I thought that the soap and pour ones were very easy to do and with the soap colours, they looked quite pretty (plus I did put some Lavender blossoms and oil in the mix as well).  For my first try I was quite pleased with them - I  did some flowers and some stars - it was a gift for a friend (along with a load of other witchy items) that was moving interstate.

4.  I want to repaint and redecorate my witchy room come office.... I want to make it feel more mystical and magickal, full of beautiful things that make me feel peaceful and joyful.

My messy work desk and Altar

My witchy cupboards and a load of mess

My bookshelves filled with odds & sods (mess)

However, if I don't get to these things this year - there is always a next, I am not going to be putting undue pressure on myself just to prove a point. 

To do my room I will probably have a month off in either April or May so that I can take my time and get it how I want it.

Isn't it lovely to have a new year, a fresh start?  To get rid of ALL the negative aspects out of your life (as much as possible - unless you live in a cottage deep in the heart of a wild forest somewhere, where nobody visits and you have no media to drag you down, just nature) and just breathe a sigh of relief, knowing YOU are in FULL control of what happens in your life - sure, those around you or situations can influence that and how you react, but at the end of the day - YOU are the one who makes the decisions for YOU!!

Take control of that aspect this year - say NO more to things that you don't want to do - even at the risk of upsetting someone you love or the boss at work!

This year is a time of YOU

Now you might think that this is self-centred... and maybe it is to a point, but we have all been living under a man made stress for so long despite our mental and physical health.  Self Care is NOT self-centred, it is hard to be everything to everyone if your health is on the brink of crumbling around you.... To be strong, you NEED to concentrate on getting YOU right FIRST.  That is why NO is going to be the word of 2025....

If you don't want to go to a party and you would rather stay home in your PJ's with your cat/dog, watching something on TV or reading a book - then say NO.

If you don't want to take on more responsibility at work, tell them that you don't have the capacity to do that - say NO.

If you have a gut feeling that something isn't right and you don't want to proceed - then NO!!

It just amounts to prioritising YOU first.

Anyway, enough of me ranting - I'm off to spend some time in nature (my back garden), so have a lovely first day of January 2025 - get some rest, eat well, spend some time in nature and breathe in all that goodness, and I will catch you in the next blog or vlog on YouTube.

Blessings to you all )O( xxx

Looking back at 2024 and what is new for 2025, (Last BLOG of the year)

 Greetings all,

Merry Christmas Eve 🌲🔆🌟🔥

What a year 2024 has been!!

I was going to write about what a crap year it has been, but I didn't want to leave a whole bunch of negativity here, there is so much of it in the world these days that I don't want to encourage it here on this platform, so I have taken a "well needed" step back to reflect on the year that was, and found that there were a few things that threw the curve ball at us - like losing our beloved Rudy boy, ongoing health issues, work issues etc - but there were also good things as well, like enjoying nature, the garden and adopting our Mavis from the Animal Welfare League...

Mavis and I doing a selfie...

Whilst work has given me the absolute heebee-geebees (I cleaned that up pretty nicely!!!), I was blessed  to have a whole month off in September - part of my long service leave - and in that month we redecorated parts of the house, did some planting in the garden, relaxed and just enjoyed life.

My home life has been great, we have it good, and are very grateful for what we have as we know we are in a good position financially and do not want for anything in particular (we haven't always been there so we know it is a hell of a good place to be in) and what with my garden coming to life in spring and summer, good food and also benefitting from a daily witchcraft practice. 

We do all have our moments of depression or sadness, which has only been so predominantly around us since we have had the C Virus shots in 2022 (I know, I sound like a broken record - but honestly, if I knew then what I know now - I would NEVER have got them).  We all struggle on a daily basis - sometimes we feel good - other times we feel ill, and very, very exhausted (we can have a good night's sleep and wake up SO tired) but it's nothing you can put your finger on and honestly - the Doctors are no good in this situation because they do not know anything but taking a guess at what's wrong and loading you up with pharmaceutical drugs, which cause more harm than good - and we do not want to go down that Merry-Go-Round.  Most of the time we all suffer from varying issues - differing body aches and pains, headaches, earaches, itches, migraines, constipation, diarrhoea and just an overwhelming sadness that prevails even when things are going splendidly.  It feels as though your very soul is too heavy to carry around - Sometimes it is very hard just to get up of a morning...

We are trying to keep off of junk food, sugary items, salty items and cooking things with too many oils - eating healthier foods and getting adequate exercise and rest to see if we can combat these issues and bring in a change of good health.

To try to conquer these feelings -most mornings I light my candles on my altar, light some nice incense to cleanse my space and pull an oracle card for the day.  It has been very insightful, and has helped me gain a wee bit of confidence in my abilities as a witch.  It helps me focus for the day and gives me some sort of calmness before all the madness begins (especially my work day!)

I have also started to 'craft' things and was able to make a few witchy items for a friend that was moving interstate - I made her a goodie spell bag with lots of things in it, like a protection jar spell, a protection sigil, some herbal tea, some bath salts and soap (all crafted by me), some seeds for her garden when she gets established (Sunflower and Calendula from my garden) - she was so happy with it all....

I have been making more of a connection with my plants and insects in my garden too (yes I talk to them hahaha) - which shows as the garden is looking very lush and green

Looking through the portal....

I purchased a new greenhouse this year as my old one kind of got demolished in the very strong winds we have had this year (and continue to do so):

Gloomy's Greenhouse....

I will be doing a product review of the new greenhouse on my YouTube channel in 2025 - so stay tuned for that one if you are thinking of getting one of these types of greenhouses - (there have been many learning curves with this one) - so maybe you will learn some tips and tricks!!

Speaking of YouTube and my channel, I started uploading Gloomy's Garden Vlogs in 2024 - something I spent many years wanting to do but didn't have the courage, I thought I was too ugly, fat, old etc and could think up any excuse not to do videos.  Then one day I thought "why not", other people do it and they are just themselves, I could do that too... I have started out doing a VLOG every so often and am up to #9 at the moment.

I wish to keep doing more videos in 2025, but expanding the repertoire to not only do garden vlogs, but to do other things such as monthly herbalism posts, Q&A's, Product reviews, Herbal Remedies, Health Tips and Tea & Chat type scenarios.  So if you are interested in any of this - please hop over to my YouTube channel and Hit that SUBSCRIBE button and the bell notification so you are advised when I put a new video up - Hopefully I will get a few more followers, I think I have around 20 at the moment.  I have to wonder how people get hundreds of thousands of followers!!!???!!!

Gloomy's YouTube Channel

I will also be doing a book give away in late January 2025 - as I received a book from a relative for my birthday, but I already have it, so I thought a nice give away would be great.  I will advertise it on Instagram and YouTube - the proviso is that you have to like and subscribe to my YouTube channel to go into the draw.  After a month, I will do a video of the drawing of the name - hopefully with my trusty Super-Hubby sidekick, and then make someone feel good about themselves for getting a free book!  I will advise when I have that all organised so you can follow the links and put your name in if you want 😁

So there are a lot of plans for the future of my YouTube channel in  2025!!

In the meantime, I have two weeks annual leave and we still have around 7 days left in 2024 - Christmas Day is tomorrow - we will have our own little celebration as we are not Christians, so we will do something Witchy and make good food and just be together with our pupster Mavis.

What ever you are doing or celebrating, I hope you have a wonderful time and feel very blessed that you made it through another year, looking forward to the new year ahead.

Until next year my friends,

Blessings and Good Health to you all,

An Irish Blessing

Cheers,

Gloomy )O( xxx

GLOOMY'S HERBALS - A RECIPE FOR BITTERS

In today's society there are a LOT of illnesses that can be prevented by having good gut flora.  The so called "Foods" we eat today are making us very sick (and surely killing us quicker than normal).  To prevent getting ill, we need to get our gut flora in check, and to do this we need to stay away from processed and packaged foods, junk food, excessive sugar, flavourings and colourings.

Look at the list of ingredients packaged foods in the supermarkets and you will notice a load of numbers and words that you don't even know what they are - this is wrong, so very, very wrong.  You should be able to tell what is in your food.

Herbal Bitters can really aid the digestive system and it is a good practice to take them just before a large meal - (like the sort we eat at Christmas time, where we stuff ourselves silly and then can't move...hahaha).  

Herbal Bitters can also have a very positive effect on all the body systems, as there are bitter receptors throughout the body and it will help to stimulate these systems.  

This herbal concoction can be used all year round if required - before any large meal, greasy fried meal, or a rich meal, (though it does pay to limit these kinds of meals) to help in the digestion of such foods through your body.

 

INGREDIENTS:
Dandelion Leaves and Roots,

Yarrow, 

Chamomile, 

Calendula/Marigold Flowers, 

Wormwood,

Elecampane (can be fresh or dried), 

Fennel Seeds,

Peppermint, 
Brandy.

 

METHOD:

Simply chop them all up and place in a Kilner/Mason jar.  Cover with brandy, stir to remove any bubbles then leave to infuse for 3-4 weeks in a cool, dark cupboard. 

 

You can also use Vervain, Agrimony, Ginger, Hops, Burdock Root, Dock Root, Stinging Nettle and many others.  

 

When infusion is complete, strain out the herbs and put the bitters into a dark bottle, and store in a dark pantry or cupboard.

 

 

DOSE:

 

 Take 1 teaspoon to 1 tablespoon about 15-20 minutes before eating (work your way up to a tablespoon full if you do not like bitters).  It is best to take bitters straight on to the tongue but perhaps add the bitters to a little drop of water until you get used to the bitter taste.  

This concoction will last up to 6 months. 

 

NOTE:

 

You can either grow these herbs in your garden or purchase them dried online from a reputable source.  But I prefer to grow my own herbs so I know that they are fresh and have not been sprayed with any pesticides or other nasties.

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER:

If you are under a Health Practitioner's supervision, always check with them first before embarking to take anything herbal, just to make sure there are no herbs in the mix that might be contra-indicated for you (will clash), with the prescription medication you are already on. Better to be safe than sorry!

I hope you found this helpful in your quest for a healthy gut flora.

Keep well my friends.

All of a sudden.....life takes a turn!

 Hello my dear Spring Blossoms,

I hope you are all keeping well and enjoying the weather where you are (whether it be Autumn or in our case, Spring).

Spring seemed to be upon us in no time and to be honest, I thought I was prepared, but clearly I was not!!

Three weeks into spring and I still hadn't prepared the beds for planting, I had sowed the seeds of many flowers and food, kept them alive in the greenhouse, but just had nowhere to put them.  Which is OK I guess as the weather has been fluctuating quite a bit - we have had cold days/nights and we have had temperatures into the 30's (Celsius) - like yesterday (today it's back down to 16 degrees!!

BUT - All of a sudden - life took a horrible turn...

My beautiful husband Paul became very ill and ended up in hospital in the Cardiac Care Unit - he didn't have a heart attack, but he had an onset of Edema, which blew him up like a balloon with fluid.  His liver couldn't cope with the toxins in his body and was pushing the fluids out to anywhere it could (legs, stomach, chest, back) his body became toxic, so because of all that happening (in just a few days), his blood pressure skyrocketed and heart was weakened.

He spent 9 days in hospital and lost just over 22 kg in weight - in fluid!!  (I just thought it was all the homely cooking I was doing that was putting the weight on him) So you could imagine the strain it put on his heart. 

Now he is home and is very exhausted from both the experience and the drugs they have him one to get rid of the fluid, reduce his blood pressure and strengthen his heart.

He still feels awful (not in pain though) and is sleeping a lot of the time - the doctors were quick to put him on the drugs - and I guess they saved his life, (they told me that if he hadn't gone to hospital he would have been dead two days later) so I am thankful for that - but nobody prepares you for the mental anguish that comes with it.  He feels useless, old, (he is only 58) like his life has no meaning anymore.  He can't get interested in anything - even music, his number one love, is on the back-burner.  He has picked up his guitar a couple of times, only to lose interest again.  We feel that it is the drugs and the restrictions that are making him this way and we know that once he has got to a certain place in his health matrix, that a lot of those drugs will be eventually gone - but he still feels like he was put on the "medical merry go round" that he was not prepared for.

You see, we are a family that never goes to the doctor, we pride ourselves that we are not on any of the medications people our age (mid forties to early sixties - yes, I am the oldest!!) are on.

You might think that is silly - but we have always relied on Mother Nature, using food and herbs as our medicine when we needed it - that is why I garden mostly - to stay healthy.

Now we have to watch how much sodium we ingest as that creates a fluid build up AND you would be surprised at how much sodium is in the products that we buy daily - and we just don't think about it.  It has truly been an eye opener - even home grow fruits and vegetables have a certain amount of natural sodium in them - like celery!!

One thing that did make him feel less useless was fixing our back fence - we have wooden fence extensions and in the storm on Monday night - they broke!  So Paul fixed the fence up and it gave him some purpose - an achievement, and maybe he can discover he can do other things too - which will make his self worth better.

Forever the clown!!!

Mental health is such a fine balance - and as I said, it was OK for them to stick him on all these drugs and give him restrictions, but there was NO mental health support whatsoever... it's just something you have to deal with....

People are not machines, you can't program them to do things if it is not in their nature and them having to go against their nature is very hard on them and those around them.  This maybe something that the medical field need to look into - whilst we are grateful for them saving lives, correct (non-biased) mental support is needed for the patients as well.

Low Sodium Food For Thought maybe???  hahaha!

Anyway, this is his second week out of hospital and we are making progress here and there.  I am lucky that when all this happened that my work supported me and gave me a month off to cope with it all.

So onwards and upwards we go on this merry-go-round called life - just to see where it takes us!!

I hope you are all doing well my lovelies,

Until next time - blessings to you all and take care of yourselves and your loved ones xxxx

Gloomy xxx )O(

When an invisible illness hits.......

 Hello Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well....

The last time I wrote a blog it was December, and in that blog I was saying how time flies - one minute it's October - then December... and now it is February!!!!

Not a lot has gone on - I had my months annual leave in December - we didn't go away or anything, just stayed home and pottered around the house and garden.

I didn't have much energy to do anything after last year, you see I have an invisible illness - not that I am going to go into it here, but suffice it to say that it's to do with my immune system.  There are times that it hits really hard and I don't have enough energy to do anything, I feel bloody awful and can't seem to focus on even daily tasks that I have to do - it makes me cry that I feel so bad....all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep the day away.  Depression and anxiety rear their ugly heads as you go further and further into the pain quagmire.

I have been a lot like that lately - I have no energy, I feel ill ALL the time, my stomach hurts, my joints ache, my head pounds, my skin breaks out in itchy rashes and I can't sleep.  Sometimes I am up until 4:00am just trying to wear myself out enough to crash into an exhausted slumber - but then the alarm goes off at 6:00am for work and it starts all over again.

My husband is the same - he has a workplace injury that he has had for about 25 years now, sometimes it is impossible for him to get out of bed with the pain - and painkillers do not work (or if they do - not for very long). It can cripple him for days at a time - all because it wasn't treated well enough at the time of injury.  This wears him down mentally as well and he ends up in a very dark place of self destruction.

However, if you were to meet me or my husband - you would never know, as it isn't something that shows like a broken part of the body or stitches etc., we come across as normal functioning people - other people have an idea that you are faking it - that you don't have an illness and are just having sick days for attentions or something.... which is just not true!

So our lives revolve around pain and how much we can endure to function normally.

Now I am not telling you all this for sympathy - no, not at all..  I am just telling you this so that you come across people who can't seem to function, maybe they seem a bit confused or depressed - take a step back and ask why - do they have an illness that can't be seen  - something that makes them not function as you would think a normal, fully functioning person would do?  And maybe cut them some slack.

BE KIND!!

Everyone is battling something in their lives and I think we can expect too much of people sometimes... 

It's time to take a step back, to slow down, to take a deep breath and just go with the flow.  Not rush around like headless chooks... slow and easy... take care of yourselves - self care is very important because if you don't care for yourself, no one else will!!

SO Take care everyone and have a fantastic week ahead!!

Cheers,

AJ