I hope you had a wonderful end to the 2025 year, and that your start of 2026 has been so far - Bloody FABULOUS.
It's been a hot minute since I put finger to keyboard and had a catch up chat (in writing) with you all so I thought it was about time I did, especially seeing this is my first post of 2026.
Not to be a total downer - but...... (WARNING: My miseries are following)
Our end of 2025 was a bit of a fizzle as none of us were feeling well or in the mood for Christmas/New Year celebrations - even my Litha celebrations were rather lame - I did manage to make a twisted loaf in celebration, which we all enjoyed - but that was about it....
I even missed the Full Moon on 3rd January - so nothing was done for that either...
I have not been well at all, always sad and exhausted (go to bed tired, not having a good night's sleep, waking up more exhausted than you went to bed).
My stomach has felt very bloated and inflamed and my IBS has flared up which makes you feel like your body is toxic. You just hurt all the time.
I must admit I have eaten WAY TOO MUCH chocolate (Maybe I should join Chocoholics Anonymous....... Hello - My name is Annette and I am a Chocoholic... it's been 4 hours since my last chocolate... hahaha), which no doubt has caused most of my stomach issues. So hence my weight has gone up to a whopping 73.2 kilos.... which for my height, is bad for my back.... and my self image is at an all time low as nothing looks good on me and everything feels wrong.
I had a week off work for my birthday and all I did was rest - and I still felt exhausted when I went back to work. I wondered if this is what 65 years old looks like - a permanently exhausted pigeon.
2025 was a bit of a hard year for me - physically, emotionally, spiritually, work wise and health wise as well. It was kind of a bad year for all the family really ~ Paul got very sick in August with his Heart, and he has taken precedence over everything else, as he is the most important person in my life and I don't want to lose him. Caetlyn who had laser eye surgery a few years ago is getting cataracts in both eyes again and will need surgery to remove them, she also suffered with sinus issues for the last 6 months and finally went to the doctor to get something for it. Poor Mavis hasn't been for an actual walk since we all got unwell, she is very difficult to walk at the best of times as she wants to attack everything and is like a bull at a gate, pulling on the lead - we haven't been able to break her of those habits yet. We try to play with her to keep her happy.
My garden is a mess. All the things I tried to grow have either been eaten by birds or rats, or have died in the heat because I have not had the energy to do anything about it. My work life is very stressful as we negotiate systems that do not work well together with the demands of the people both in and outside of the organisation. I have not had any time (or energy) to do any witchcraft or work on my spiritual side either, and I have not had the time (or inclination) to exercise. And whilst my house doesn't smell, housework has taken a backseat - everywhere could use a good dust, but that will come in time...
The summer heat is making me miserable too as it is too hot for me to go outside and garden, I can do it for around 10 minutes and then I start to feel nauseous and giddy.... I can't wait for Autumn.
I feel like a hollowed out husk, out of energy, out of the will to do anything about it, ready to be blown away by the next windy day.
SO after all that whinging I hear you say "Well, what are you going to do about it?"..
I dunno - maybe moan, whinge and complain more??? (LOL).
For the last month I have been off of all my socials as well - no Blogspot, no Instagram and no YouTube, and I must say - I have thoroughly enjoyed it... I am thinking of getting rid of Instagram as I went on there yesterday to see if I had missed anything and found myself feeling very depressed after 15 minutes....
I have tried to put together a video for my YouTube channel - but I can't seem to get enthused about it - I know there is another channel on there that wants to collaborate with me this year, but I don't know if I have the "right stuff" to see that through. My channel hasn't got many followers - after 2 years I only have 74 followers, hardly any views on my videos and I don't get very many comments at all - I have to wonder if all that hard work is really worth it, do I really have anything worth saying - or more importantly, are people even interested in what I have to say - do I need to come up with a new angle?
I don't know - I guess I am questioning everything at the moment...
I do know one thing that is going to make me immensely happy this year - RETIREMENT...
YES - I will be retiring from work on 30th June 2026... I have worked since 1976, and I think 50 years is long enough to dedicate to working and paying taxes in this life, I want to see if I can enjoy the time I have left on this beautiful earth before it's my time to pop off...
I am SO looking forward to that I can tell you (retiring - not popping off).
Hmmm well - Looking back on this travesty of a blog I must try to do something to get myself in a better place - any suggestions?
I don't know if any of you lovely readers have been in this situation before - or are going through the same or a similar thing right now... let me know in the comments below.
I know I DO want to feel better, I know I HAVE to sort out my priorities especially for where my health is concerned - it's just a daunting task when you are too tired to get enthused! Anxiety hits a new high when you feel overburdened and overwhelmed with the things life throws at you.
Sorry about all this - I basically had to get this off my chest so I can start to heal, I think acknowledging your faults and/or issues is the first step to going in a positive direction - then the only way is UP.
Anyhoo - thank you for sticking with me and listening to me whinge... I promise this will be the last time for a long while and normal blogging will return next week with herbal and flower profiles (which I have been working on).
I DO hope you are all doing well, that you are happy, healthy and kicking life in the balls.
Until next time,
Many blessings to you all....
Annette )O( xxx
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